A Lovely Testimonial
I recently received a lovely message from a lady called Eli who had a distance session with me back in September. Her message was saying how the session had helped her with her anxiety and depression for which she was grateful, but she had found herself gradually slipping into anxiety about things on a much greater scale.
With Eli’s permission I have included below our whole conversation in the hope that if anyone else is going through a similar sort of anxiety and fear for the future, something in these words may help.
“Hi Kathy, I wanted to let you know that after our session a few things came to me that helped my anxiety and depression. It was kind of like thoughts that came into my head of way to help with what I’m feeling If that makes sense and I have made some changes. I just wanted to say thank you.
I do however feel the anxiety and depression has crept back. I wonder if you tell me your opinion on a subject that probably sounds silly but considering you have a background in science I thought maybe you could help my thought process.
The main struggle I have is a fear of dying and my family and animals dying, I’m not depressed because I don’t like life, I’m depressed because I love it so much and don’t want it to all disappear one day. Anyway, I came to a point where I was sort of ok with it thinking there must be something more to it and that can’t possibly just be the end. Then my mind did what it does best and finds the next thing to obsess and panic over. Now I’m stuck in this loop-hole of even if death isn’t the end once the sun dies there will be no earth or universe anymore and that breaks my heart and makes me feel very depressed and anxious. Is all science just theory? Do you think there is something else out there that will preserve the earth? There has to be right? I just can’t accept that all of evolution and the beautiful world we have means nothing and will just be a burning rock one day. I understand if you think I’m crazy, it’s just no one else seems to get it and I thought you might.”
Thank you so much for your message!
I’m so glad the session helped you.
The first thing I wanted to say is – NO you are not crazy!!
I read this message in the middle of the night and my mind went wild in a dozen different directions.
I will try and formulate an understandable answer!!
Love and hugs to you
OK I’m going to put some thoughts down here and hope they might help.
Firstly looking at the fear/anxiety the emotional side of how in eons to come this world/Sun/ Universe which is so beautiful and magnificent might one day disappear.
This to me is what Brené Brown calls “foreboding joy”. The example she gives in her book “Daring Greatly” is where someone is looking at a sleeping child and feeling the love and beauty of that child lying there in front of them. However, they do not stay in that moment of enjoying that feeling and dreaming of the wonderful life ahead of that child, instead they can only fear the dreadful things that might happen. They worry about the possibility of illness, accident or even death happening for that sleeping child. This is “foreboding joy”, it is a state we can get into when we do not allow ourselves to feel joy.
So for you maybe a thing to practise is “staying in the moment”. No-one knows what is round the corner and in truth ALL we have is now…… and now…… and now. Nothing is certain for the future. Yes we plan and do our best for that future for ourselves and our loved ones, but in the end no one can make that guarantee that the future will be as we plan or want.
“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its joy.”
A way to help you stay in the moment and present is to become aware of every time your thoughts go to that fear for the future. So, every time you feel that thought emerging. Stop. Breath. Give yourself a moment to say to yourself “I don’t need to go there and get upset as going there will not change anything but will rob me of now!” – or words to that affect.
The more you practise being aware the less those anxious thoughts will a) have power over you and b) actually occur.
Also when something joyful happens in your life really acknowledge it, not only the happiness it brings you but the way it makes you feel in your body. Practise being in that feeling as often as you can eg if you wake up to a beautiful sunrise – sit in appreciation and gratitude for that moment of beauty. Feel the joy in your body as much as in your mind. By practising being joyful you are strengthening that pathway in your mind and body until that becomes your “go to” place instead of anxiety.
So those are some practical strategies which I hope might help.
The other part I would like to address is just as you say, “Is all science a theory?” – I LOVE that thought.
So at the moment we are told that in x million/billion years our sun will go Super Nova and then collapse into a black hole and then we are done! But firstly, if that IS true, what happens afterwards? Has anyone been through a black hole? Who’s to say that at the other side of a black hole an even better world exists? No one knows. At the moment science says one thing, but look at how as new discoveries are made, how often they change their minds.
I was reading a very simple discussion on particle physics and how many types of neutrino exist. There are massive projects going on all over the world studying neutrinos, but as a layman reading the science I couldn’t help but see how they made a “hypothesis” up and stated that this what they thought, but then as more data came in that disproved that hypothesis they had to go back to the drawing board and think of something else.
I truly believe this is the state of most of science – hell – modern medicine doesn’t even work on the fact that we and everything else are energy and atoms are mainly space!!!! In truth we have a LOOOONNGG way to go to really understand anything about us and the Universe. So what you are being anxious about is in the end a working hypothesis – not fact and reality.
These are just my thoughts Elise, I do hope they will help in some way. I’m always here if you need me.
Love and hugs
“Thank you so much Kathy
I can’t describe how grateful I am for your very detailed response. No one has ever taken the time to explain things to me in that way. I can’t believe that someone I have never met could be so genuine and kind to me and offer more support than I have ever had.
And it is so true, now that I think on it I for some reason have never allowed myself to be happy of feel joy(let it stick around anyway)I just always have this feeling of everything needs to be right, in balance and perfect before I allow myself to feel ok.I do it with everything in my life.
I am going to work very hard on taking a breath and not allowing those negative thoughts and feeling to take over.
Thank you for the practical strategies, now I have something to work on instead of just feeling lost and helpless.
I find it hard to believe that all of the universe is just a coincidence, it’s too perfect, the way everything is connected and working together in harmony. I guess it’s just a fear of the unknown. I hope I can slow down and start enjoying the journey instead of always worrying about the destination.
Thank you again so much”
“Hi Kathy, over the last couple of days I have been feeling the same sort of things to when you did my session last time, it kind of feels like some space is being made in my mind and it’s not as noisy and chaotic as it has been. I have also been able to better have a ‘shield’ for my negative thoughts, they are still there but have a feeling of when they come they sort of bounce off something and go away. Anyway just thought I would say thanks if it’s you helping “
“Oh Eli that is wonderful.
I think this is all part of the process of you healing yourself via the effects of the session and yes maybe our recent connection.
I think the session started you healing, but maybe a bit like Warwick’s description of what a shutdown horse does, you started then to face more anxieties (the fate of the Earth and Universe), but you reached out to me and that helped you find the “tools” within yourself to move forward again to an even better place.
So so cool.
Well done you!”
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